Very often I hear people say “He’s such an Alfa male!” Or worse I hear “In case you hadn’t noticed, I am an Alpha male!” What image comes to mind when you mention the term Alfa male? Most of us would imagine scenes from a James Bond movie or ads featuring tough guys surrounded by luxury and beautiful women, in short, it’s a Hollywood cliché. Let’s dig deeper. The Wikipedia definition refers to biology, or rather, to the biological social structure of a group of primates. He’s the top monkey.
In every day conversation Alfa male refers to the most dominant, or the strongest, or the most self- confident man in a group. Up until recently experts believed that testosterone was to blame for everything. The higher his level of testosterone the more masculine he looked and the more brutally he behaved. However, experiments have shown that when testosterone was injected into male chimpanzees, who weren’t the leaders within their group, only their level of aggression increased dramatically but not their status. So, how do we identity an Alpha male?
Disregard all the clichés and listen to my opinion. It’s a full-blooded woman’s opinion driven by instinct and pheromones. I can pick out this kind of man at ten paces, even in a crowd.
First, the men who only aspire to power and having control are not Alpha males! If a man is relentlessly striving to prove that he is the boss – then he’s definitely not an Alpha male! These men base all thoughts about themselves on their constant self-evaluation and self-reflection, relative to their position within the hierarchy that exists only in their head.
Second, the real Alpha male is in fact defined by his choice of female partner. She must be the best of the best – the Queen bee. He would never be contented with an average female. In addition to which, the pseudo Alpha male has a low libido, but tries to seduce as many women as possible in order to confirm his imagined status.
Third, the genuine Alpha male will not sacrifice everything in order to be successful. Unlike the fake Alpha males they are not narcissists. Instead, achieving their goals is part and parcel of their overall journey in life, it is not the be all and end all. His focus and energies are directed outwards, as well as inwards, he has a broad view of his life and his place in it.
Fourth, the Alpha male is not brash, he doesn’t humiliate others to boost his self-esteem. He is careful not to tell jokes which others might find offensive. Rudeness is just a cover for those who lack self-confidence. Alpha males always treat others respectfully and are not arrogant. Those men who have reached a certain level in life and who flaunt it, expecting special treatment are not Alpha males. Alpha males don’t easily lose their temper or self-control. He is happy with what he has and satisfied with his lot. He is tolerant of other people’s mistakes, shortcomings and their different personal opinions. They are not narrow minded, they don’t believe that their opinion is the only right one. Alpha males don’t fluctuate from one extreme to another. Alphas are devoted to their family, friends whilst also minding their health and wellbeing.
Most of all, Alpha males are not vain, they are balanced and strive to improve the world around them. He is generous, fearless and ready to climb any mountain in order to find the solution.
There is lots of online advice about how to become an Alpha male. People believe that it’s possible to change and become an Alpha male. Bullshit! It’s impossible! Pheromones decide the hierarchy in any pack. The Alpha male exudes leadership pheromones, which are detected by the rest of the pack and attract all the females – especially the most desirable one. Instinctively the members of the pack can sense that he is the natural leader and they obey him. The Alpha male does not need to prove their supremacy. They are the unquestionable leaders. Natural selection requires very few leaders, as a result there are relatively few Alpha males. Last but not least, you will always feel like a real woman next to an Alpha male!